Arcade Fire, Greek Theatre, Berkeley, CA 10/3/10
14 years ago
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Neither Here Nor There
The charm of air-guitar is the irrational-yet-logical transitions one can accomplish. From rhythm guitar, then to the bassline, then a drum fill, then back to rhythm guitar to lead-in drums to the chorus where you are lead singer back to the bridge with the bass until you hit the lead guitar doing a solo. It is a private moment that involves more heart than picking someone up at a bar but less balls. It is the thrill of someone waiting for 6pm to ticktock its way into the past.
I spent my lunch break feeding ducks, but I soon realized they were all Pavlovian and circling me like wagons to a wild-west villain when they saw me as the owner of free shit. I briskly left the scene and found shelter underneath a tree. Watching the ducks from afar, viewing families and cliques and the daily routine of domesticated serenity made me feel like the enemy, their enabler. I will return tommorrow with a new plan of attack: come when they're not so fucking hungry.
Tonight is Bluegrass night at Mission Pizza, the locale of one of the most existential crises of my life and probably the determining factor of how and why I took that flight to the Philippines. I will repay my thanks with a curious ear and a tall glass of Boddington's. For now, my heart sweats like a candle, from a fragile flame that can be easily vanquished with no blame, no rhyme, no reason, no depression, no heaven; just the way I like it.
"Doing dirt on sex, it is the crime of our times, because what we need is tenderness towards the body, towards sex, we need tenderhearted fucking."
-D.H. Lawrence
-Kenneth Koch
"He walked out of a party one night because somebody used the word 'creampuff,' it seemed maliciously, in his hearing. The man was a refugee Hungarian pastry cook talking shop, but there was your Mucho: thin-skinned."
-Pynchon, The Crying of Lot 49
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 04, 2009
hell of to fruition
[x] continue forward progress on novel
[x] compile and edit previous short stories and poems
[x] save up money to self-publish
[x] purchase domain name and host server
[x] finish dental projects
[x] keep up/pace with dental plan trajectory
[x] diminish anxiety of seeing patients
[ ] accept proposition to spoon
[x] keep self composed
[x] dream with feet on the ground
---------------------------------------------------
Because he is a genius and I am a poser, here is a stolen premise for I am a hideous man.
Q:
A: Even a real good book is like half a year. For me at least, it's either anecdotal or fleeting. Like when taking a walk in a park and the kid in front of me kicks a rock back to other rocks, like there is no necessity to sit him down and ask him why did what he did. There is no meaning and there is no necessary analyzation or deconstruction and sometimes I get lost in thinking to dive deeper is to find meaning but right now I feel like the beauty of something so innocuous is its innocuousness.
Q:
A: Yeah, I'm sure that's the case.
Q:
A: Once upon a time.
Q:
A: Well, you know. I remember thinking to myself that the rhythm section in "Careless Whisper" had to have been one of the most underrated and most, like, fucking amazing things like I wish someone can build a monument to that. But unless I'm really not caught up in myself, like when I'm drunk or something, I can't muster up the courage to say something so stupid. And then I kind of let it pass. But if someone else had thoughts along those lines and their actions where parallel to mine I wouldn't treat it as a dumb little inane moment. It would be admirable to me, I would wish someone would erect a monument for something that personal. That's why I can't hate people.
Q:
A: Yes, what about her?
Q:
A: Oh yeah, I hear she works at Macy's or something. It's weird how someone who made a significant impact on my life a decade ago can be so moot and unimportant to my present... but at the same time the reverberations have been felt. It's like time kind of heals all wounds, but more importantly it creates these little battle scars that makes you feel accomplished, no matter how many flashbacks you get.
[x] compile and edit previous short stories and poems
[x] save up money to self-publish
[x] purchase domain name and host server
[x] finish dental projects
[x] keep up/pace with dental plan trajectory
[x] diminish anxiety of seeing patients
[ ] accept proposition to spoon
[x] keep self composed
[x] dream with feet on the ground
---------------------------------------------------
Because he is a genius and I am a poser, here is a stolen premise for I am a hideous man.
Q:
A: Even a real good book is like half a year. For me at least, it's either anecdotal or fleeting. Like when taking a walk in a park and the kid in front of me kicks a rock back to other rocks, like there is no necessity to sit him down and ask him why did what he did. There is no meaning and there is no necessary analyzation or deconstruction and sometimes I get lost in thinking to dive deeper is to find meaning but right now I feel like the beauty of something so innocuous is its innocuousness.
Q:
A: Yeah, I'm sure that's the case.
Q:
A: Once upon a time.
Q:
A: Well, you know. I remember thinking to myself that the rhythm section in "Careless Whisper" had to have been one of the most underrated and most, like, fucking amazing things like I wish someone can build a monument to that. But unless I'm really not caught up in myself, like when I'm drunk or something, I can't muster up the courage to say something so stupid. And then I kind of let it pass. But if someone else had thoughts along those lines and their actions where parallel to mine I wouldn't treat it as a dumb little inane moment. It would be admirable to me, I would wish someone would erect a monument for something that personal. That's why I can't hate people.
Q:
A: Yes, what about her?
Q:
A: Oh yeah, I hear she works at Macy's or something. It's weird how someone who made a significant impact on my life a decade ago can be so moot and unimportant to my present... but at the same time the reverberations have been felt. It's like time kind of heals all wounds, but more importantly it creates these little battle scars that makes you feel accomplished, no matter how many flashbacks you get.
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