the thoughtfulness of forgetting to remember

they caved in
like little kids in love,
aroused
by the idea of defying logic.

holding hands;
which earlier helped him empty
a box
of cheap wine,

hands that -- in what
felt like another lifetime --
held on to each rosary bead
like toes on a tightrope.

kneeling, looking straight ahead
at imagery of a dead man--
smiling -- looming over them.

eyes closed, thinking of
what to say and what not say.
thinking of the things
they did and didn't
want to do.

it was casual,
his conversation.
talking in pretend,
feeling like it was real.

walking across an empty lot,
avoiding the lines
that denoted where cars
should be parked,

avoiding cracked pavement,
he looked up and
saw nothing but the collective hope
of people that didn't exist
if he didn't believe.