in defense of being a f_cking idiot.

You don't have to look around to know that things are happening. We were never little children and we will always be little children. I never in my wildest dreams thought that reality could surpass my wildest dreams. Now, the likelihood of attaining such unrestrained joy can stare me right in the face and all I can do is dream.

My lack of a killer instinct is highly equalized by my ability to not exist. My ego is a slut who's afraid of being a slut. My ego is the Madonna/Whore complex. I feel like maybe one day I will be on a porch, drinking lemonade and smiling for no reason in particular. This is my hope and when it comes I will look at the person beside me and we will freely admit that, hey, that moment in time that we shared a long long time ago was when we knew everything was going to be alright.

You know how people say "I love you" to other people before they leave? The reasoning usually because you like to remind them that you love them just in case, as in "just in case" you never see each other again or "just in case he/she was unaware". That is very rational, those are pretty good reasons. Sometimes, saying "I love you" is said so much it is said out of habit and the best times "I love you" can pop in is when you mean it and you want them to know right then and there, and those are usually never said as the last words.

I love you.

I walked across the street to buy lunch and saw nothing but us, tiny little complicated beings, and the sky above. If you are willing to let us keep at it, no matter how stupid and selfish and isolated we are, I promise that there is a reason for this bullshit and one day we might be bored out of our minds just enough to let it sink in.